Losing You
by NiennorNight
Summary: Magnus has a Nightmare of Alec dying and goes to find him. {Later I may turn this into a bigger story and add this part in the midst of it.} Malec [I'm so sorry the summary is awful..] Potential panic attack trigger warning


**This is an one-shot for now! Later I may write more and add it into a bigger story! (Later may be quite late though!)**

 **Disclaimer: I'm not Cassandra Clare thus own** **none of the** **characters.**

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 **Nightmare**

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He woke up screaming his name, springing up and reaching out in front of him. The dream faded, and he found himself in his bedroom, breathing heavily with tears falling from his hazy cat-eyes, hand still outstretched forward.

"Angel…" he whispered, his voice hoarse from screaming, as he let his hand fall lifelessly to his side… "Just a nightmare…" Even though it was a warm night, he found himself shivering. "Alec…" The Nephilim's image came back to him, blue eyes unseeing, his angelic face littered with blood. "My Alec…" he wept unable to stop himself. _'_ _A dream… It was only a dream… He is fine… He is okay… Nothing happened to him…'_

Still he couldn't calm down. He looked to his side and saw the time. 3:47. Alec hadn't come back home from a hunt and while he knew he must have gone to the institute right away, he couldn't help the uneasy feeling settling in his stomach.

"I need to see him…"

Trembling he got up and managed to create a portal with unsteady hands. He went through it and found himself outside the Institute. He soundlessly crept through the garden and entered Alec's room through the open window. The boy was sleeping soundly on his bed, his raven hair tousled, his angelic face peaceful. With a rush of affection Magnus noticed he was clinging to one of own shirts as he slept. He looked nothing like the image in his dreams and Magnus heaved an involuntary sigh as relief washed through him. Alec stirred at the sound and opened his blue eyes, blinking sleepily as he saw Magnus "Ma-gnus?" he whispered in a drowsy voice the Warlock found extremely endearing "Am I… dreaming?"

Magnus couldn't help but smile lovingly at that, and quickly strode through the room, unable to take the distance anymore, discarding his shoes on the way. He sat on the bed beside Alec who scooted over automatically to make space for him, and then lied down and hugged him, whispering. "I love you so much…"

Alec was surprised at first, still not completely awake, but hugged him back nonetheless. "I love you too Mags… Are you okay?" Magnus tried answering, telling him that everything was just fine, but there was a lump on his throat and he couldn't speak. Silent tears fell from his eyes once more and he sobbed silently clutching his lover like a lifeline. "Magnus?" Alec spoke his name softly again, but alert now, and full of worry. "What's wrong? Magnus, you're scaring me, are you hurt?" Magnus shook his head and managed to piece out between sobs and ragged breaths "No… It's okay… Everything's okay now… You are okay…"

"Of course I'm okay baby…" whispered Alec using the endearing term he knew Magnus loved, while rubbing soothing circles on his back. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I couldn't make it… You… You fell, and I didn't make it in time… I…" his voice broke as new sobs wracked his body "I saw you die, and I couldn't do a thing to save you…" Images flooded his mind again. Alec's blue eyes, staring unseeing as his body lay broken in a pool of blood. " **No.** " He gasped, unable to breathe through sobs.

"Shh…" cooed Alec hugging him closer "It was just a nightmare… I'm here, I'm with you now… I promise I won't leave you…"

Magnus' breath hitched at those last words and he sobbed harder. "But you will… You can't help it. One… One day, you…" he never got to finish his sentence. _'You will die anyway. Time, time will take you from me even if demons do not…'_ He was sobbing so hard now he was almost unable to breathe, and Alec was terrified.

"Magnus, baby, please, Magnus, please, calm down!" He whispered frantically trying to sooth him. "Please, please…" He held him tightly crying too as the Warlock broke apart in his arms.

"Alec… My… Alec…" _'No, no, no, no don't die, don't die, don't die. I cannot live without you, please no,no,no.'_

"Hush… Hush baby, don't think. Don't think of anything, look at me."

 _ **"Look at me…"**_

Alec's soft words broke through his reverie, and Magnus obeyed the Nephilim's plea, losing himself into his Shadowhunter's mesmerizing blue eyes, trying to breathe through the overwhelming sobs. "A… le… xa… nder…" He pieced out his name through ragged breaths.

"Hush… I'm here…" Alec soothed kissing his hair. "Hush, we'll figure it out… We'll find a way, it's going to be fine…" he added planting kisses all over his face trying to calm him down. "I'm here now baby… I'm not going anywhere…"

 _'I can't lose you… I can't, I can't do it… Please let there be a way…'_ Magnus clutched at him desperately, never looking away from his eyes. He tried to let go of all his thoughts, only focusing on his beloved's appeasing soft voice and beautiful face. "I… I will…"

"Shh… It's okay… don't speak… Breathe Mags…"

 _'I swear I will find a way…'_ Keeping that thought in mind, and erasing everything else but Alec's presence he managed to relax a little.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Alec who was going crazy with worry, Magnus' breathing evened out a bit, and relaxed, falling into a normal pace. The Warlock still kept his eyes on him and reached a hand out to cup his face. "Alexander… Alec, my Alec…" he whispered as the boy leaned into his touch.

"Are you okay?" Asked Alec, his blue eyes shining with worry.

"Yes… I'm sorry… Sayang… I…"

Alec hugged him so tight burying the warlock's head in his chest, that Magnus was unable to finish his sentence. He could feel the boy's heart beating thrumming wildly in his chest as he spoke in a strained voice. "Don't you **dare** apologise for **anything**."

Magnus just dipped his head once to show him he heard, and sighed contently feeling peaceful at last.

"It's going to be okay _…"_ Whispered Alec once more, and trusting his words, Magnus closed his eyes, as Alec's now steady heartbeat, lulled him into unconsciousness and he drifted into oblivion…

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 **Note: I hope you liked it! I apologise if you didn't, please let me know what you think about it!**

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 **Irrelevant, But Very Relevant note!: Did you know, Malec Week is coming up! (1-7 of August) There will be various events! It will be so cool!** **^_^** **And If you are a writer or artist you can create something for it!**


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